The Wonder of "Half-Speed."



Under the weather along with a general apathy of late for social media has lead me back to the keyboard. Although I have been writing, it's work. Lovely work on film scripts. I have shut down any other writing as I know myself. I will stop working and write silly little poems, funny blog posts and really meaningless FB posts. Add my tv shows, walking the dogs, being there for my forever vibrant girlfriend, man I am wasted.

I get sick once a year and before that I had gone a five year stretch without a cough, ache or major illness. I have to believe getting sick is the climax of getting a lot wrong. Sleep goes out, no naps. I love lazily naps! Power naps really upset me, Throw my vibe off. Eating healthy. I'm pretty good acatually when I'm not traveling. But with a recent trip to my birthplace, I ate a lot of rich and heavy foods. Emotional stress. This is a big one. I'm dealing with a major development in my sobriety to where I need to get seek a therapist. I went to my Pastor on this, as I really want to approach this issue from a spiritual place. My good Pastor suggested a book on the issues, then another talk and finally the aforementioned therapist. 

Add those together with travel, family demands and career, you have an illness that has knocked me off my feet. Feeling crumby, I know I'm a bit better this morning. The cure is so simply frustrating. Rest and fluids. I mean who has time to rest all day and evening long for a series of days? Let's just say I love the sun and now have a few upset clients from cancellations. Liquids. I have a small weak bladder as is, now I have to pee every five minutes cause I'm suppose to "flush the illness out." Gross. I'm really trying not to do any, if very little drugs in getting better. Just putting in good natural things. But who am I fooling? I'd much rather be knocked out, feel no pain and wake up the next day, sickness gone and ready to roll. But we know that is not the path of things. Impatient shortcuts is what got me here.  It took a while for that perfect brew of stress, no sleep and bad eating to weaken my system to where  a simple germ added to this cauldron of death wrenched my chest and impaired my little lungs from breathing with ease.  

(Bathroom break.) 

Pardon me. See what I mean? A rather large cup of tea with lemon and a larger glass of water are to blame. Just did a shot of carrot juice and apple cider vinegar. Wow that was smart and great for the throat. 

Where was I? Death. The mind has a lot of time to think. This morning I was thinking of the 90's. During a time span of seven years i lost a Great Uncle(Titi), Uncle Johnnie , Tata Saucido and Uncle Robert(Gordo.)  These were highly impressionable men in my young life. Titi was like my Mom's Dad. Johnnie showed me a bigger world. Tata was kind tortured soul that I related to. And Gordo was the king of them all. My Mom's only full brother. Homeless for decades. He was completely misunderstood by the family. A special needs kid who's generation put those types of people away in the looney bin. Yet Gordo, after years and years of stubborn pain and struggle to sober up, he did it. For the last six years of his life he lived in a half way home, didn't touch a drop and cooked for the homeless all the time at the AA center.  I lived with him the last few years until his passing. The path of things shows us a lot of pain has to be endured to glow in the sunlight. A lot of pain.

So I know this tiny illness will leave me and I can again be at full strength. But until then I think i'll enjoy the stranger wonder of being at "half speed." Well, the bathroom is calling my name again. See y'all down the road. 


Enjoy the sun on your face, you've earned it.