So it begins again. A 10 day writing tune up, part of the Facebook group, 500 words a day, with prompts and suggestions. Well since these prompts are optional, I hear by opt out. Our first 500 words a day adventure was earlier this year and it went on for 30 days! I loved it and though I wavered a bit towards the end I finished with a strong flurry. With all that being said I wanted to take these 10 days; entries , and discuss my sobriety. I in fact just celebrated my one year anniversary this past August 21st.
With this 10 day tune up, I want to break down 10 tools or things I learned about my first year of sobriety. From daily tasks to martial arts and honest inventory or prayer, I hope these entries can help anyone reading them. Anyone who is in pain and suffering from living a life lead by materialism, substance or the approval of others, I know my words can offer guidance. That combo of years, failures and strength surely can help a lost soul who happens upon my words. That is my sincere hope.
I want to begin where it shall eventually end, my faith. I honestly believe that all the tools and discoveries that I will write about all go back to my faith. Like a backbone to a body, faith is my spine, forever sustaining me. Faith is the ability to see without sight.
Now I won't go into anymore poetics of leafy thoughts on the divine. I'm gonna get real. My faith only works when I'm honest with God. Honesty, the source of my faith, precedes healing. So lets talk about my faith before I decided to quit drinking. Lets get a good "whiff" of Paul before, going into these past 365 days. As my dear girlfriend always says, "How where you feeling going in? And how do you feel going out?"
Same time last year I had been a member of my church for almost 6 years, I had been born again for less than two years. But instead of talking with God, asking for daily help with the various problems of life, I found myself drinking daily to numb, to drown my sorrows. Famed artist Frida Kahlo put it, "But the bastards(sorrows,) learned how to swim." My situation had gotten out of control. This was so discouraging as I felt I made alot of spiritual progress. "Spiritual Amnesia" crept in and in some cases, I would make the same mistakes, same failures of my dark past. I mean it made sense then; to fail those tests of morality and gratitude cause I had none, I was that guy, completely selfish and lost. But come on, I was going to church, I was praying, but was I honest with God everyday? No. That was me, Paul Saucido, going into this sobriety challenge, stuck on repeat of tequila and tail . A pathetic, poetic asshole who barely recognized kingdom come from being hell bent.