You see that guy? The one in the black and white photo with the pseudo, contemplative artist, angst pose? That's Paul and he's full of shit. He gets dressed up to go out to be seen and to see if anyone or anything interesting will happen while he goes out. Cause nothing really interesting happens when Paul stays home. He smirks and struts and stands out in the many crowds of his mind. He's the chosen one and has a higher calling to show people how to be, think and act. Paul gets to the scene just in time, his arrival is greeted by a collective sigh. But he can't be bothered with anyone cause he's in the moment, looking, looking, for "IT." Waiting for the next big thing. So even though you made plans, texted or perhaps got on the phone with Paul, he simply can't be bothered with you right now as he arrives on the scene. He is simply too busy. Too busy looking at his phone, looking around, always excusing himself cause he sees someone else that he has to talk too. "Being there" is his art and he's good at it. "Being there" is to be seen, to leave and later to say you were "there." Hell, there are times Paul lied about his presence at some life altering event so he could claim that moment for himself. "Being there ," is some serious, nasty busy. Make sure you have your bull shit story straight or you may be put on blast. You are in his company, he is not in yours and he knows it. He flirts, drinks and even winks to be noticed. Paul may deliver an outrageous line just to be heard. So vulgar and idiotic that you take it for gospel. So is the obsession with belonging, waiting, for something better. Around the corner.
OK, let turn on the work lights, stop talking in the third person and discuss. Yes, I use to behave in this manner. As I have stated in earlier posts, I had a very selfish agenda. It's funny that taking this photo made me really uneasy. I remember those red carpet days, taking photos, getting lost in the lights. The thing is I was never in the films I was posing in front of the press for. I mean I had a decent run on television, but lets be honest. I was wanna be talent that pissed it away when it came down to it.
Now lets talk about you. Have you ever, on any level, acted in this manner? If you react swiftly with a "Hell no Paul!" Think again. Let me help. Ever gone out with friends to a concert or club and proceeded the rest of the night to ignore them? I mean you hung out with them, but eye contact? No. Conversation? Hardly. And odds are you left with seemingly more interesting people perhaps. Not you? Lets get more personal. Your family. Ever gone to gatherings with the clan and all you can do is countdown the minutes to when you can leave? Yes,me too. But at the end of the day, we can search and fill up our lives with drugs, booze and sex, we will still be left with just our own company. I think the art of "Being There" is just "being."
Honestly, I still have to let go of my daily shit when I see my ego taking me down a that familiar unhealthy road. But we are obsessive aren't we? We crave the spotlight. Like Peter Sellers in the landmark film, Being There, we all want to be praised for our Zen "garden wisdom." But the truth is life is not a movie or play where people hang on our every kernel of knowledge. Perhaps in our own recognition of just "Being," we can realize that one person who can give your life meaning and validation is you. Only then can we begin to restore sanity to our toxic mind. See you on down the road,