I Don't Pretend. [POEM]

I don't pretend, to know how to fly, when I stumble. 

I don't pretend, to be who I was, when I was always me.

I don't pretend, to think the best years of my life are ahead of me when most have already been lived. 

I don't pretend, to be the smartest person in the room when I couldn't be an honest person in our conversations.

I don't pretend, that youthful moment didn't matter when as a middle aged man it's all that I dream about.

I don't pretend, this sober heart does not want a drink and a pair of strange lips.

I don't pretend, a meaningless life can matter, when all that matters is a life full of meaning. 

I don't pretend, to dream of swimming in shimmering oceans, when I daydream of drowning in evaporated pools.

I don't pretend anymore, that immortal words will ever be birthed from this pen. 

Idon't pretend, to live a life that requires me to be different than I am today.