Monday early grey morning, and surprisingly a warm 59 degrees. I'm behind a blog entry hence the early morning rant and coffee. I had actually had two failed starts during the day yesterday at this. One I was sitting in church and had gotten a rather unwelcome text. That entry started "What are these trifling tests that you send me? But I thought a journal questionnaire to God was not coming out genuine. Also I didn't want to give said "text sender," a full blog entry on my 10th day of this journal journey. Although I will say that the preacher did scare me with his too timely, on point message of how deal with daily tasks. Compassion, Kindness, Humility, Gentleness, patience, forbearance and forgiveness. All those virtues must be sowed and delivered with love. Shit. I didn't want to hear that. I wanted to bolt out of the church, get the "text sender" on the phone. Reading my journal entry from yesterday I said,
That's exactly what I had envisioned becoming had I not keep my ass in the pew. But really what would that have accomplished? I kept still and silent and meditated on the fore mentioned virtues that Paul the apostle had spouted on in his letter of Colossians.
My other failed attempt was much later at night when I was watching the new X-Files episode. Bad move. I think I've gotten to that age where watching TV and doing any form of creative writing don't mix. It's good white noise for when I'm thumbing through my phone, social media crap but not kind to your brain when trying to form complete sentences. Correct sentence structure and mastery of the English language is already a task, why make it worse with the SiFi antics of Scull and Moulder? Honestly, I can't even remember what I even wrote, thank you TV for thoroughly rotting my brain, make sense since all I tend to watch are zombie shows.
I did end the day on high. I had a facetime with my girlfriend. It was wonderful to see her face and words moving at the same time. She had earlier visited my Mom and we chatted about each other's day. Even through the flat surface of the iphone I could feel her amazing gaze and warmth. I'm going to see her in a few weeks so we started our countdown to that day of reunion. Last countdown we would send each other videos. Each day we recorded some fact, big or little, silly or significant, and send it off. I highly recommend it for you long distance lovers who want to bravely keep the flames burning strong. Well, I read her a poem from Neruda. I even practice the Spanish four times before going live. Of course I stumbled upon my read to her but she said I read it well. Who knew?
I read in fact "En Ti La Tierra/In You The Earth." This poem is so stirring, so moving and yet very simple and short. I'll leave you with my favorite passage but before I do I came to a decision about the countdown. I shall read a different Neruda poem to her everyday till I see her on the 11th of Feb. She excites my soul and I'm brave and a better man for admitting it so. See you all down the road.