As I navigate the silent seasons of my life I do so in humility and total commitment to his will. My patience has become ever lasting, a force so gentle and overwhelming that even in my darkest days it comforts me, guiding all moments, while my anger has abated, arrested in short lived failures. Failures become promises of greatness. Inward retrospection with a power vested in me to persevere. To take bended knee at his throne, and take in his awesome counseling, his mature meaning and constant beauty that it hurts my human heart. I weep because I know, I laugh cause I see, and I’m joyful that God is by my side. I have made my decision.
I’m reminded of this C.S Lewis passage.
”I wonder whether people who ask God to interfere openly and directly in our world quite realize what it will be like when he does. When that happens, it is the end of the world. When the author walks onto the stage the play is over. God is going to invade, all right: but what is the good of saying you are on His side, then, when you see the whole natural universe melting away like a dream and something else – something it never entered your head to conceive – comes crashing in; something so beautiful to some of us and so terrible to others that none of us will have any choice left? For this time it will be God without disguise; something so overwhelming that it will strike either irresistible love or irresistible horror into every creature. It will be too late then to choose your side. There is no use saying you choose to lie down when it has become impossible to stand up. That will not be the time for choosing: It will be the time when we discover which side we really have chosen, whether we realized it before or not. Now, today, this moment, is our chance to choose the right side. God is holding back to give us that chance. it will not last forever. We must take it or leave it.”
And dear friends, I, Paul Saucido, a broken child of God has taken it and I’m never letting go.